25 things to know from a 25-year-old
My birthday recently passed, and I have not been thrilled about getting older.
25 years of life. I discovered this age is classified as a "speed limit" birthday. And just as the speed limit reflects, I am doing my best to take life nice and easy, carefully minding my surroundings instead of stomping on the gas and gunning it.
I'm throwing my 25th year of life onto the stack of awkward years. Each year of your twenties feels like an in-between stage of life. I am still early into adulthood but no longer getting ID'ed when I order an alcoholic beverage - yikes. Or my favorite, "You're not in your thirties yet? I was certain you were at least thirty!" Whatever that means.
I am infinitely grateful for every lesson that has graced my life. I look forward to how God will continue to unveil my story, doing my best to catch Him in the details like a glorified game of Where's Waldo. I can not emphasize enough how much I value emotional intelligence and discernment. The more, the better!
For upcoming 25-year-olds or anyone who enjoys unsolicited advice, I wanted to share 25 things I deem important, in no specific order.
1. They don't care.
No one is as worried about you as you think they are. Let's face it. We are hyper-focused on acquiring safety through external approval. At work, the gym, restaurants, or church - we are so fixated on ourselves that considering others is off the table in these vulnerable moments. When was the last time you went out and judged others instead of panicking about the impression you were making?
2. Your purpose has always been right in front of you.
Your calling is something you've always done in some form without even realizing it. This might be a combination of things for some and one thing in particular for others. It is a part of you that is important to all of us. Seek it out!
3. Set those boundaries!
No one is entitled to you, no matter their title in your life. You have the power to set boundaries for people, places, or things that are potentially harmful. The biggest boundary? Saying no. Don't be afraid to utilize this underrated resource. You are not obligated to be or do anything for anyone. Say no when it needs to be said. What are you capable of when everyone leaves you with an empty cup?
4. Become your best friend.
Call me crazy, but I talk to myself more than anyone else. It's my version of therapy. Be your own hype man. Shower yourself with love. Treat yourself as good as you'd treat your BFF! How can you expect this treatment from someone else when you can't provide it?
5. A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.
The things that take time and persistence are always worth it. We all avoid it, but failure is almost necessary. I have feared failure or loss in everything I have ever strived for, and it is not as embarrassing or life-shattering as we anticipate. Appreciate the lessons along the way. Accept the wisdom and move forward.
6. Be a student of life.
Knowledge is one of the most powerful resources. Obtain as much of it as possible. How to do this? Read, read, read! Find your genre, turn off the TV, put down your phone, and read regularly. Reading is so beneficial to people of all ages. Nourish your mind!
7. Pray your heart away!
The power of prayer is real. You can never over-pray. Pray when you're anxious, pray when you're excited, pray when you're angry. Pray for friends. Pray for strangers. Pray, pray, pray!
8. Get some Vitamin D.
A walk or some sun heals the ickiest of moods. Being cooped up all day indoors is abnormal - get out for 30-60 minutes!
9. Practice mindfulness.
Don't let yourself take unnecessary things personally. Understand intentions. Some people want your reaction to validate their idea of who you are. In contrast, others project their insecurities onto anyone within their vicinity. You aren't how others make you feel. Inversely, be intentional with your words and actions. What you say matters. How you behave matters.
10. Don't be a hypocrite.
This one is plain and simple. Hypocrisy is never justified. I also think that pettiness leads to premature aging, but don't quote me!
11. God comes first.
You cannot have your faith AND the world. One leads to eternity, and the other leads to self-destruction. When you feel like you're spiraling, consider where you've placed God in your life.
When reflecting on the status of life at a church event, everyone said they wished they had met Jesus in their twenties. My mom also said the same thing when I asked her what she wished she had known during this stage. Center yourself on long-lasting things. Please don't push it off; prioritize what truly matters.
12. Money is fleeting.
When asking others what their advice is for individuals navigating their twenties, money was one of the top stressors, which was somewhat disappointing.
Any amount of money will never be enough money. Professional athletes and lottery winners burn through their earnings, feeling emptier than before. We can try to save and invest wisely, but then what? Your value is not rooted in your salary or bank account balance. Money comes, and money goes. We all overlook how money creates more problems than it has resolved. Don't let greed be your driving force. Don't idolize your ideal financial status.
13. Be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Make decisions that are out of your typical comfort zone sometimes. This is the best way to experience growth instead of complacency. I've also seen God do some amazing things in the uncomfy moments! You never know who will be placed in your path or what will derive from a leap of faith.
14. Speak up!
Say the pressing things. Whatever is on your heart is there for a reason! Compliment strangers, make silly small talk, reach out to old friends, express love and gratitude, or share constructive advice or opinions with those you think could benefit.
15. Your body will not look like it did when you were 18, no matter how many calories you cut or miles you sprint.
This is something I have battled with for years now. I thought I would always be free of stretch marks and cellulite – ha!
Drop the unrealistic, unattainable aesthetics! Give your body some grace for the life it's experienced and the journey it's preparing for now. Take care of yourself. Don't criticize or obsess over it! Learn to fall in love with the mind and body you've been given.
16. Get a companion.
I wish I were being dramatic, but my fur children have taught me so much about love. They've seen me scary cry, ugly laugh, AND naked - and they still want me to be the center of their world!
Get a pet and give them the finest life you can. They will provide unconditional love, lots of laughs, and undeniable comfort their entire existence with you. It's all they know to do.
Also, animal lovers are the best people. Befriend them!
17. Avoid burnout at all costs!
Slow down and maintain a steady pace because no one is trying to race. We are all striving for our own versions of success and fulfillment. You're probably ahead of where you think you should be!
18. It's all mental.
Everything in life is a mental battle before anything else. If you can overcome your mind, you can overcome any obstacle! Practice self-talk.
You can handle the presentation because you love speaking in public!
Finish this mile because it doesn't even hurt!
Go on that date and be your boisterous self because there is no one like you!
19. You can create whatever life you want for yourself if you're willing.
I love that I can do whatever I believe to be best for myself and my future family. I can create and mold a quiet, quaint life or step out and establish a loud presence in the world. My goals, passions, interests, and routines are up to me to uphold. As long as I want it, it is only up to me to chase it.
It is challenging to get to where you want to be. But you can get there. And when you do, everything is worth it.
20. Stop questioning yourself.
What you're doing matters. Who you are matters. What you're passionate about matters.
Why are you being so hard on yourself? And why do you feel it is necessary to explain yourself?
21. Your environment shapes you.
Friends, music, attitudes, and beliefs are absorbed into who you are. We base our well-being on that of others around us. Hold yourself to high standards in everything you are exposed to.
22. Have faith.
God never fails. Trust in Him and hold tight to your faith as if it is all you have. Surrender control. He will shower you with an everlasting love and unlimited provision.
23. Get out of the box others put you in.
The low or high expectations others set are not for you to fulfill. Stop living in the "norm" you observed growing up; your "conventional" will look different from your parents' version. Breaking their patterns does not mean you are not impressive, responsible, or reasonable - you are simply living out your life.
24. Proceed [social media] with caution.
I advise everyone to take a break from social apps. Remove yourself from inviting the internet into the ongoings of your life for a given period, and you'll feel refreshed. Enjoy family, friends, experiences, or accomplishments for yourself. It also makes the tough days easier since your mind is no longer fixated on how effortlessly uncomplicated your social media peers make their life appear. There's nothing to prove. Instead of living out a photo op or a Pinterest board, live out your reality.
My tip for those utilizing social media regularly is to redefine your feeds. Use these platforms to engage in fruitful behaviors, learn new, valuable skills, or share the love and wisdom that God may be placing in your heart. Everything can be used for good.
25. Stand still.
Billy Ray Cyrus spoke this lovely advice, and I adored it!
If you don't know what to do about a situation, where to run when the world comes crashing down, or how to move forward amid stress and fear, it is okay to stand still until you catch your breath. Give yourself time before reacting. You don't have to have an answer for everything right this moment.
25 pieces of advice from me to you!
To summarize what I've been trying to communicate:
Go easy on yourself.
Fall, learn, and get back up again.
Be a friend to everyone.
Create something great for the world.
Love God and live as He intended.
For anyone looking for answers, whether you are approaching your twenties, flying through your thirties, or squinting at this in a pair of readers in your forties and fifties, you are doing amazing. Keep going, and don't be dismissive when learning to be a better human. You're on track, and everything leading up to this point is significant to your story.
Recent things I am grateful for:
Marriage and the impenetrable force that comes with this union.
Feeling creative, crafty, and altogether inspired.
Puppy diapers – thank you to the inventor of these things!
Faith-fueled friends.
Vulnerability. It has taken me 24.5 years to reach this point where nothing is off limits – look out, world!
Degrassi (the next generation, of course!). This level of nostalgia makes me feel safe and carefree. Although Jimmy Brooks deserved better. IYKYK.
Surprises from my husband. They are always just what I need at the right time!
